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My good friend Ricky Rhythm showed up a few weeks back.  He'd come round to invite me to his wedding.  Like all these Islington people it was going to take place in some distant, exotic location.  In his case, Gateshead.
I told him I was v.flattered but I didn't have a bean, also I don't travel well.   I mean, Gateshead !!  It's the other end of the known world.  And I expressed my reservations about him taking that step, hadn't he considered the effect it would have on their child ??   A school life of being bullied for being the only kid whose ‘rents were married.

I told his missus I'd only come if I didn't know anyone else there and I could tell everyone before the service that I was a time traveller from the future, come to warn them about the terrible consequences of letting the ceremony go through.

This only served to encourage them and they said they'd get me there even if they had to hit me over the head, put me in a sack and tie me to the roof of their car.

In the event they organised everything for me, I'm v.flattered.

The lift up, the Friday of the Bank Holiday w/end, was an 8hr drive, so I got a full value ride in a motor car.  I got put up by the groom's folks.  With their aged eyesight they seemed to think Prince William had come to visit, despite me having a nicer voice than him.  I was treated royally.

The bash itself showed that the Viking influence is still prevalent in the N.East.  After the ceremony we had 12 hrs of eating and drinking, including a boat trip where we bobbed up and down the Tyne shouting drunkenly at each other.  I'm sure there's some Norse myth we were unwittingly acting out, all we lacked was the headgear.

Sunday morning I had outdoor breakfast with the Reverend followed by garden trampolining with the head bridesmaid (aged 7).
Most invigorating.

Monday, the drive back 6hrs.

I spent much of the following week asleep.  All that fun had left me exhausted.



"Technological progress is like an axe in the hands of a pathological criminal. "


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